“Ernesto, look! That’s Ana-Maria waiting for the bus! Take my car, go pick her up and drive her home!”
“Don’t be stupid, Pedro, I don’t have a driver license.”
“Whatever, man, that’s one time chance you got now...”
Ernesto couldn’t let this go. He took the driver’s seat, dropped Pedro, and drove toward where Ana-Maria was standing. Thank God in America driving automatic cars is very easy; Ernesto could thus pretend to know how to drive. Easy, he thought, as he was approaching the bus stop.
“Come in, it’s starting to rain. I’ll give you a ride.”
As he was motioning Ana-Maria to get in the car, Ernesto’s heart was racing. This was the occasion he had dreamed of for months. They were both in the same class, and yet since the beginning of the semester this Fall he had not managed to approach her. She was always surrounded by this group of girls that looked all the same and took great fun in ridiculizing any attempt from any boy to approach her.
She was indeed stunningly beautiful. She had dark deep Latino eyes in which one could either see his own reflection on the glassy surface or simply get hypnotized in this marvelously mysterious and captivating darkness. But in the same time she had this unique way of stroking her fingers through her dark long curly hairs that fell evenly on her shoulders and along her delicate bronze skinned neck. She was strong minded, almost masculine, and yet the way she walked - carelessly but gracefully - would always catch the attention of any boy around. She was definitely the most beautiful girl on campus, but unlike all the others, she didn’t care. She didn’t even seem to understand the attention she got from all these boys. She would usually give this light musical laugh when someone said she was good-looking, which would discomfit the one trying his charms on Ana-Maria.
And today Ernesto was giving her a ride home. He still couldn’t believe it: he must have been the luckiest person on earth! His mind hadn’t been on anything else but her for the past 3 months, but he had still not managed to get a word with her. Although he would usually be considered as a good-looking person, he was never so good with girls, and she was like the untouchable gem. His best friend Pedro had thought of many strategies to get Ana-Maria away from this annoying group of girls, but Ernesto just couldn’t do it.
Today he had the opportunity he had sought for months. He thought it must have been a gesture from the gods responsible with the dating business. “Thank you dear dating God for sitting Ana-Maria on my car’s passenger seat!” He felt almost feverish. He could barely mumble a weak ‘you’re welcome‘ when she thanked him so innocently! And now what? This was the occasion of a lifetime, but how to grasp this unbelievable opportunity? How to unveil his feelings? How to be bold enough to stop fearing a negative answer? How to be strong enough to live on after a refusal? And what if she said yes?
“We are in the same biology class, on Tuesday mornings, isn’t it? I never got to know your name! I’m Ana-Maria.”
Come on, he thought, it’s now or never!
“Yeah, uh... nice to meet you. I’m Ernesto. Actually...” But he couldn’t finish, he was mumbling, he was too hesitant, he was too unsure. His brain was working faster than ever; his thoughts were coming and going, like the leaves when they are blowing in the wind: right, left, back and forth. He couldn’t do it. He would just try to forget about her. This was all nonsense anyways. No, that would have been impossible. She was too beautiful, she was the delicate flower waiting to be picked, she was a prince-less princess, she was everything, she... He blushed. His heart was still racing; the blood was pounding in his ears.
“Do you like the class?” finally managed to enquire Ernesto. But he instantly thought ‘what a stupid question’ and bit his lower lip in remorse. He felt even worse when she laughed, but he also felt kind of drugged by the sound of her playful voice.
“This class is so boring! But actually I’m looking forward the field trip next weekend. Maybe we can sit together in the bus. I’m tired of the other girls.”
Ernesto chocked, mumbled, stumbled, and finally managed a weak ‘yes’. It seemed hardly possible but his face became even redder. It was almost purple. Ernesto thought it was burning hot inside the car so he opened the window in a vain attempt to get some air, but as it was raining he closed it again.
Somewhere, not very far, a truck driver was reaching the town’s outskirts. He was glad to be back, after a long and tiring journey.
As they were getting out of the University Campus, Ernesto surprised himself when he managed to ask with a steady and self-confident voice: “so where do you live?”
“It’s not far, on Wellington Avenue, on the left right after the ‘Healthy Stuff’ shop.”
‘Damn’ thought Ernesto. It was barely a five-minute drive, which didn’t leave him much time to sum up the amount of courage needed to ask Ana-Maria out. He would have to be quick. This thought made him feel even more anxious, if that was possible, so he started to breathe deeper while trying to ignore his beaming red cheeks and the sweat pearling down his back.
Fog was accumulating on the windows.
He thought that he should maybe delay his ‘proposal’, and wait for another day, when the situation would be more suitable. But he then imagined his father, back home, telling him once again to never delay what could be done today. His father was right, as usual, but this still didn’t helped at all. This raging internal battle was worming Ernesto out and he was feeling like a rag being pulled from multiple directions. What to do: ask her out or not? If he asked right now at least he would know what to expect, for the best or for the worse. But he felt so bad about himself that he didn’t think it was the best time to venture himself; maybe it was better to wait and ‘work her out’, in a way or an other. After all they had formally met each other barely five minutes ago. But he would also feel ashamed of himself if he let such an opportunity slip between his fingers. The struggle was going on and on.
Ana-Maria was talking again about the biology class but Ernesto wasn’t listening at all, for his mind was not on biology, a subject for which he didn’t care.
There was only a few hundreds meters left until they reached destination when he finally set his mind. He realized that he had forwarded his decision long enough and that now it was time to act. For three months he had contemplated asking her out!
He took a deep breath while repeating once again the ultimate question in his mind.
He interrupted her: “Ana-Maria?” She turned herself toward him while replacing once again a lock behind her ear with her left hand, and smiled at him.
“Yes?”
But as she turned herself she had a fraction of a second to catch the sight of the truck coming straight on the left side of the car, straight on Ernesto’s side. She didn’t even have time to shout a warning or anything else. It all happened at once.
The truck driver was tired but happy to be almost home. His wife was pregnant and their son was supposed to be born within the next two weeks, so he had accepted this last shipment before taking a short paternal leave. She had wanted him to stay home, but he needed the money, as always. So he had left. But now it didn’t matter; he was home. Only a few hundred meters left, he thought, while foreseeing the moment he would take his wife between his arms. He closed his eyes with pleasure and anticipation, only for a few second, and did not see the traffic light turning red.
As Ana - Maria smiled to him Ernesto knew he had a chance straight away, he knew that no one had sincerely paid attention to Ana - Maria but him, he knew that this coming weekend he would take her to the movies, he knew he would be the one being able to tell her how much he was in love with her and caress her golden cheeks, and eventually kiss those perfect lips.
He was even more startled to see her gorgeous smile turn into a mask of terror. And then he heard the crash. He heard it rather that he felt it. It was like a dream in which he saw everything happen in slow motion. He also heard Ana-Maria screaming. It was so strange! He couldn’t see clearly anymore, as if he looked through an opaque filter. He saw her, next to him, and that made him happy. He tried to ask her out, but she couldn’t hear. His mouth wasn’t making any sounds at all. He had thought earlier that he was living a dream. Then he understood he was dying, and that he had waited too long; now it was too late, and he would never be able to ask Ana-Maria out. He thought that life is too short, but that didn’t helped; he couldn’t fight it, his eyes were closing themselves, and he knew that when they would be closed he would never be able to admire Ana-Maria ever again, so he just looked at her, and that was the last thing he saw. At least it was beautiful.
Ernesto’s last though was on his father, though. He imagined him instructing again and again that life was too short, and that he should never delay anything that could be done on the spot. He was right, and he had known it all the time.
.JPG)
